random sad thoughts about pharmacy school [09 Nov 2009|02:14am] Reasons I will probably receive a deferment from UOP this week: -My essays weren't good enough. I finished them the first out of all the other schools, and had some people only briefly look over them. In retrospect, I could have made them a lot better. One was just straightforward and asked me to explain the quarters I only took 12 units or less (which were a lot, because I'm lazy), but maybe my explanations were bad...? -Not a lot of extracurriculars. I wish I had more pharmacy experience besides just working at one. Maybe I should have obtained clinical experience by volunteering at a hospital as well... -Probably should have become more involved with the pharmacy club and applied to be an officer -Probably should have volunteered more in general -Maybe more research experience as well -Maybe interview was bad because I was nervous and my hands were sweaty when I was shaking the two interviewers' hands so they left with an unpleasant impression regardless of my answers -Maybe I rambled on too much during the interview -Maybe I didn't answer the questions well -Even though my GPA is high, maybe they sensed that I was lazy because I tend to take only 3 classes a quarter I'm torn between feeling like I worked so hard for nothing, and feeling like I should have worked harder, if that makes any sense. I feel like all the studying I did and the grades I received have just been in vain. But then again sometimes I feel like I haven't studied as much as other people seem to, because I never pull all-nighters or spend most of my waking hours either in class or in the library. I'm glad I got accepted into Touro, but it bothers me that people are going to be disappointed in me if I end up going there. When I told my parents about my acceptance they weren't happy at all or even really cared; they just said to work harder at getting into other schools. Also, I'm really lazy and don't want to take anatomy at a community college next semester, and don't want to take mam phys lab ever. killed the koala

[05 Nov 2009|02:03am] It's annoying when guys call girls fat. It doesn't make sense because most of the girls they call fat are pretty skinny in the first place, just not like, 100 pounds. How do they think that makes me feel?! I haven't weighed 100 pounds since like, sixth grade. Back then I thought I was fat because all my friends weighed 80 pounds but now I look back on my pictures and I'm like "Damn, I was so skinny." Anyway, I digress. Guys shouldn't be calling girls fat in the first place. killed the koala

I am in love with this band and this song. [15 Oct 2009|09:08am] oh i wish i had a boyfriend i wish i had a loving man in my life i wish i had a father and maybe then i woulda turned out right but now im just crazy im totally mad yeah im just crazy im fucked in the head and maybe if i really tried with all of my heart then i could make a brand new start in love with you oh i wish i had a sun tan i wish i had a pizza and a bottle of wine i wish i had a beach house then we could make a big fire every night instead im just crazy im totally mad yeah im just crazy im fucked in the head and maybe if i really tried with all of my heart then i could make a brand new start in love with you killed the koala

[13 Sep 2009|02:02am] To be honest, if there's anything that I've learned about the human condition, it's that people are weird. I could put it more eloquently, but seriously. People are weird. That's why I always wanted to be a psychiatrist - so that I can study people and analyze why they think the way they do, and why they behave the way they do. brb going to sleep 1 marshmallow milkshake#$%!killed the koala

[07 Sep 2009|03:25am] I had this dream about vegas the other night and now I really hate that damn city and never want to go back. It deserves the nickname sin city because it champions all the deadly sins. Lust, because of all the strip clubs or porn or whatever.. I don't even know. Don't get me started on my hatred for strip clubs. Gluttony, because of the fatass (although delicious) buffets. Greed because of all the gambling. Wrath when you lose your savings on gambling. Sloth after you consume 5000 calories at the buffet. Pride because you feel really cool living in a lush hotel. Envy because of other people's nicer hotel suites, nicer designer things, nicer everything. And there you have it. No offense to anyone who likes vegas but I'm just a hater and also very bored. Wow I typed this whole thing on my itouch. Now I feel very proud, which is unfortuntely a sin. Posted via LiveJournal.app. killed the koala

[06 Sep 2009|11:51pm] I remember when I was a kid, I'd always hear people say, "Enjoy being young; these are the best years of your life." Of course, I was pretty angsty back then, so I always thought "Psh! My life sucks!" Well... actually... I had some issues back then, but I still wish I could go back in time to when I was ten years old. Even though I had family problems and I was really shy and weird, at least I didn't have to worry about getting good grades, going to college, or getting a job. It truly terrifies me when I think about life after I graduate. Am I going to be happy as a pharmacist? I couldn't imagine working retail for my whole life, standing on my feet for twelve hours at a time. I would like to work in a hospital or a clinic, but I haven't had experience in either of those settings, so how would I know if it's really suitable for me? What if I hate it even more? What if I hate being a pharmacist and hate my job for the rest of my life? The only thing that makes me feel better is the fact that I decided not to be a psychiatrist, which was my career aspiration for almost half my life. I would not be able to handle the heaviness of the career, even though I would be extremely wealthy >=). It's interesting to learn about mental illness and try to help people, but I couldn't possibly devote my life to that.. to be as simple as possible, it would just bum me out. It's going to be frightening living on my own, paying the bills, dealing with insurance and 401k and mortgage stuff that I still don't really understand. I also dread growing older because that means my parents will be older, which means my grandparents will be older, and.. it just depresses me. I don't want to see my parents growing old and sick. 3 marshmallow milkshakes#$%!killed the koala

[05 Sep 2009|12:02am] I wish I could be one of those people who can write candidly about their lives. killed the koala

[25 Aug 2009|01:35am] My life has not turned out the way I wanted it to. 1 marshmallow milkshake#$%!killed the koala

[28 Jul 2009|09:56am] Remember my last post on how I was trying to find a word that somebody once used to describe me? I FINALLY FOUND OUT WHAT THE DAMN WORD WAS!!!!!!!!!!!! It actually does NOT start with a T so I don't know what I was thinking. I've never felt so accomplished in my life. 3 marshmallow milkshakes#$%!killed the koala

CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME? :O [17 Jul 2009|11:25pm] Okay so I'm writing my supplemental for USC about my personal qualities and there's this word I want to use but I don't remember what it is. I remember when I had an interview with a Wellesley album she said that I was self-aware and _________, a word that was similar to self-aware but something along the lines of thinking a lot and being insightful. I completely forgot what the word is but I remember being pretty flattered at the description. Now, that was almost four years ago, but it still crossed my mind every once in a while. Can anyone think of what the word would be?? I think it probably starts with a T.................... maybe sounds like tangible....... This is driving me crazy :'(. 1 marshmallow milkshake#$%!killed the koala

New LJ [22 May 2009|02:38am] [ music | interpol ] If we are friends and you want to read it, leave a comment. 22 marshmallow milkshakes#$%!killed the koala

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